I have been having major anxiety lately. Tonight we drove up to this Temple tonight, around it the houses have the Christmas story with pictures painted by a local artist. It was exactly what I needed. I love how much peace can come from simply being near this sacred building.

Walk Now For Autism

Today and all weekend I have been in lots of pain. It has gotten worse today and my Dr told me tonight to go to the hospital. I asked my sister to watch k at my house since she lives at home and my parents both work in the morning. My dad told my sis to have me take k to their house. Then my mom called and told me I’m in pain because I eat cheese. (the one thing I’ve eaten today that she thinks would be causing it, who cares that I’ve been in pain for 3 days) and tells me to hurry and bring k over right that second because she doesn’t want her there late.
I told her that was why I asked m to come to my house. She then tells me m can’t because its raining and she drives a wrangler (forget that m is at this moment driving moms car to the store). So I ask if j should pick her up on his way home. She grouchily tells me no. To hurry and get k there so she can go home.

Please tell me I’m not an idiot for thinking my sister could watch my kid while I go to the er, or that my mom shouldn’t have such an issue with having her ONLY GRANDCHILD come to her house.

I just dont understand.

Actually I do. The world has always revolved around her. She can’t handle and won’t fully accept k’s autism. And she is just straight up a b*$#& at times.

(Also she can’t handle anything when she has a job, which she doesn’t need to do, but wants to so she can go to the movies and expensive restaurants and buy expensive clothes and stuff every week)

This makes me very happy!

My child has autism because:
A-she was imunized as a baby
B- I gave her tylonal or mortrin for pain and fevers
C- I didn’t feed her a 100% organic vegan diet
D- because she was 6 weeks early
E- none of the above.

Nice start to a post don’t you think?
The answer is E (f.y.i.) I have a friend who believes everything she hears or reads, it doesn’t matter if its accurate or not.
She doesn’t check.
I am getting tired of all her posts on Facebook by no-name people with out any medical education about things causing autism.

I get so sick and tired of people telling me that I did something to cause her autism, or that it is preventable or any other line of crap.

I firmly believe that people are born with autism. They are sent here by a loving Father in Heaven who knows how amazing they are, and how much good they can do and how much they can help people grow.
I believe that it is all apart of His wonderful plan. Our wonderful children, and the amazing adults with autism are so perfect in the Lords eyes that they are sent here to help US to grow and become who He would have us be.

I really wish people would educate themselves before they open their mouths, or post a load of crap on Facebook.
This doesn’t just go for autism, but also for essential oils (for some reason people think they are a miracle cure all-even for burns), chemicals, toxins, gluten/gluten-free, casin free, special diets, and life in general.

Ok. Rant over. Have a good rest of your day.

We had some of our best friends over this weekend. They are more like family than friends. I love her like a sister, and he has ALWAYS been like a brother to my husband.

They have tried for 6 years to have a baby, where as J and I weren’t trying and had K before we were married a yr. I was pregnant 1 month into our marriage.  Last year my friend had 2 miscarriages. She is now 18 weeks pregnant.

She was always super excited for me while I was pregnant, even though I knew it was killing her that we weren’t trying and they were. But she never showed it.  To this day she has never said anything to be about being jealous, or upset that I had a child and she didnt’. 

J and I were not doing anything to prevent having another baby from the time k was 1 1/2 until she was almost 4. I did not become pregnant, except once and I lost it within a few days of finding out.  

When K was diagnosed with autism, we decided that I should get an iud and that we weren’t going to try for another baby for a while, if ever. 

While my friend was here this past weekend, I was super excited for her (it was the first time I had seen her since she found out she was pregnant). But I understood what she had been feeling when I was pregnant with K.

I am so overjoyed for her pregnancy after so much heart ache and fertility (that DID NOT work, she was off fertility meds when she conceived), but I was also extremely jealous of her.

I realized that I want another baby. Really bad. I didn’t realize that I wanted another one so bad until I was spending time with her. I have other friends who are pregnant right now, and I have felt slightly jealous of them and a little baby hungry. But I only spend a few hours with them at a time. I spent 3 full days with my friend. And it caused me to acknowledge that I really want another.

I have been having some mystery health problems, that the dr’s haven’t been able to figure out. As soon as I am able to get them taken care of I really want to start trying for another baby.

I hope my husband feels the same way….I have to talk to him about it tonight.

We currently have 4 animals in our apartment, K wants 4 more.

I have told her she has great animals right now, and she can’t get any more until she does allergy shots (for her cat and horse allergies, and allergy to most dogs) and we have a house.

The pets she has are : 2 beta fish, a red foot tortoise, and a standard poodle (the big kind)

The pets she wants are :  a ragdoll cat, a red bearded dragon, a cream or black horse, and 2 birds (parakeets) 1 pink and 1 purple.  (yes she is specific about what color animals she wants) She has also shown interest in getting a goat, cow, pig and pony (which she will quickly tell you is absolutely not the same thing a getting a horse).

I have the feeling that we will have a farm when we build or buy a house (hoping to build, have a few lots I like) and that we may have a little vet or zoologist on our hands.

K got a bike for Christmas,

she was so excited!

She did really well with peddling for a while,

then all of the sudden she regressed and couldn’t peddle any more.

This is just one of the frustrations of Autism….

the sudden regression from things we thought were good, not necessarily mastered, but good.

Its so sad and hard to watch her struggle to peddle her bike, and to not be able to, then to go for a minute and then not be able to again. It kills me, I want to help her so badly, but cant. I don’t know how, and it KILLS. ME. DEAD.

For those of you who don’t know, Echolalia is repetition of vocalizations made by another person…

or in K’s situation, it is the quoting of movies and tv shows.  

K doesn’t always know what to say, so she repeats things she has heard.

Almost 100% of the time she uses the quote correctly, 

and she has learned to slightly change the quote if absolutely necessary. 

It amazes me the things she can recall to use in conversations.  But I am so glad that it allows her to communicate with people without too many problems.

K loves music.

I mean LOVES….

She always has music going,

usually Lion King or Red Solo Cup.

It makes me smile, most of the time.

Sometimes it drives me crazy,

in fact I really don’t like listening to her two favorites any more.

But I really love that she loves music.

I think we will start basic piano soon

(she trys to play at my mom’s all the time

so I think we may bring the keyboard over to our house.)